July 15, 2010 | 
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Relating to mental illness
Does a close friend or family member of yours have a diagnosable mental disorder? The answer is yes. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that over 57 million adult Americans suffer from a diagnosable disorder. Almost 15 million of these suffer from a severe mental illness. Mental disorders are the number one cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada. Mental illness touches each of us every day, yet it is still treated like a shameful secret within much of our society. The fears, superstitions, shame, and misinformation about mental illness continue to dominate the discussion, and cause many who suffer to be mistreated or left untreated entirely. It is time we stopped treating mental illness differently than any other illness, and time that we stop treating those afflicted as something other than simply people with a disease.
Mental problems scare us. We have reached a point in science where, at least on a physiological level, we understand the process of most diseases, and that a virus, bacteria, toxin, or trauma likely caused the problem. We know if it is contagious, self-inflicted or environmental. Often we can identify who is at risk, and sometimes know how to prevent a specific disease. We have become so effective at fighting physical illness that we have increased the average lifespan 30 years in just the last century. Significantly, we attach no shame to the victim. None of these things is true about mental illness.
While we have made amazing strides in psychology and psycho-pharmacology, both are still in their infancy. We now have drugs which can treat some mental illnesses with some degree of effectiveness, but our knowledge of how the brain works is still minimal. What causes severe mental illness such as schizophrenia, clinical depression or bi-polar disorder? Who will be affected? What is the cure? For centuries, the mentally ill have been shunned, isolated, and even killed. They were believed to be possessed by demons, evil spirits or the Devil himself. We’ve come a long way, but we there is still so much we don’t know. And ignorance breeds fear.
So why are mental disorders so scary? I think it is because, more than any other illness, mental problems change the very substance of who we consider ourselves and others to be. It is our mind which gives us our sense of identity. If I lost a limb, I’d still be Jeff without that limb, but if I lose my mind, who am I? If I become depressed, anxiety ridden, manic, or any other significant change in mood or behavior, what would others think? Could they still relate to me? Could I still relate to them? When a person is mentally disturbed they often do not realize it. We all assume that our perception of reality is accurate, and if our perception changes, that the world has changed, not our perceiving device. So how would we know if we have become delusional?
We are able to function together because we have a general agreement as to what constitutes reality. When someone leaves that agreement, and starts insisting that reality is much different than the common belief, we call them insane. But it still makes us uncomfortable. And where do we draw the line? How sad does someone have to be before they are depressed? Sadness, mourning, or fatigue are not the same as depression. While most depressed people feel these things, not everybody who feels these things is depressed. Depression is primarily a biological condition that causes people to feel negative emotions disconnected from negative events. In fact, if you feel happy when bad things happen, you may have a form of manic illness. As you can see, when it comes to mental health, there are often more questions than answers, and that really scares us.
However, we must not let that fear cause us to turn away from the problems, or blame the victim. There should be no more shame in seeking help for emotional or mental problems than for physical ones. Whether it is your back that hurts, or your emotions, the pain is real. Whether you have a chronic cough or chronic conflict in you marriage, they both can make life miserable. It is no more a failure of character if one takes medication for depression than if one takes insulin for diabetes. Shame does not need to be a part of illness
Dr. Jeffrey Low has been a therapist since 1978. He currently works with individual and couples in Sonoma, California. You can contact him, ask questions, and find out more about his work, at www.themarriagepath.com
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